Don't Mess With The Locals: Things We Learned From Hilton Head

Don't Forget to Follow Me on Twitter @SholesHomewood

*The names in this story have been changed to protect the ones involved... HAHAHA!* This is the PG-13 rated version.

Wow! Another year in the books on Hilton Head Island. Hackers, if you have never been down to the low country, it is well worth the trip! This is THE destination if you enjoy great/inexpensive golf courses, great food, great wildlife, and great bars. Now, you have to know the nights to hit each location or you run into the most fierce beasts on the island... the LOCALS.

Whether we go across the pond or to Atlantic Beach, there is always some group of dudes that thinks since they were born there, they claim the right to pop their mouth off at people who are just having a good time. The locals in Hilton Head are different... most, if not all of them, are transplants, meaning they are people from all over the planet and just got content (lazy) and stayed. Therefor, they get pure and utter joy out of making it uncomfortable for the "tourist" who are the one's paying their bills. Not everywhere is like this, there are places that are better than others on certain nights. (If you are planning a trip in the future feel free to email me at sshomewood@gmail.com for a good schedule to follow.)

If you make it down for a Wednesday night, you have to go to Big Bamboo. It is Reggae night with $3 Red Stripes. To my good buddy, "Two Ball Lou", that is like giving Steroids to Roger Clemmons. Jeemaneez, I have seen horses fresh off a run across the Sahara drink slower than that man holding a Red Stripe. Needless to say, that led to a unique experience there at the "Bar"muda Triangle (A place where 5 bars open into a court yard... Awesome!) NOTE TO SELF: There is a garage door and regular entrance in this bar called One Hot Mamas. (One of the many bars at the Triangle). Whatever you do, do not walk in the wrong door. If you do, you might get your head ripped off by a bouncer, who thinks he is Lawrence Taylor on crack... Literally, this guy thought he was something else when he grabbed my buddy "Little Wood's" visor and twisted his head all the way around. Rejected! And if you get banned from a bar in "bar"muda, they hold a grudge and ban you forever (or the rest of the week, time will tell). The "Bar"muda will never be the same...

Some other things that we learned from Hilton Head are pretty valuable.

First, you don't have to feed alligators to get them active! Haha, if rednecks from the bayou on Swamp People, knew this trick... they would be in hog heaven! This was unreal. All it takes is am Iphone with Itunes and boom! The trick is finding a viable juvenile gator call that gets the big mama rowled up. It is outrageous! Nothing like seeing a 10 footer poking it's head up on the bank!

Second, hackers, if you spend more time in the woods then on the fairway... look out for Poison Ivy. I, of course, have learned this the hard way. My ass, ankles, hands are completely covered with the devils itch. I know there are some mother's that follow my blog... any home remedies would be appreciated.

Third, when you eat at Salty Dog Cafe. Request one of the tables outside that is in front of the Restaurant. Make sure you order the seafood pot pie, UNREAL!

Fourth, don't order Jack Daniel's American Honey as a shot. Not only does it increase the volitility between you and the locals. It really does make you look like a pansy.

The most valuable rule. If you are trying to kick it in the pool after it is closed, don't piss off the security guards of the resort the night before! They will watch like hawk over a wounded mammal! Haha, they tend to hold grudges also...


Some of you will be hearing more stories that can't be shared on the internet. To the guys who accompanied me on yet another golf outing, I enjoyed it once again guys! We had a really solid group!


Stay out of the deep end!

Not Golf Related But Significant to Me

"The Dunk Heard Round the World"
Lorenzo Charles 1963 - 2011

Today my Alma Mater lost one of their true greats! Lorenzo Charles was best known for "The Dunk Heard Round the World". He hit the winning shot to lift the 1983 N. C. State Wolfpack team to their 2nd National Title in an unlikely victory againt University of Houston. I had met him several times, when he was driving our fraternity to a school function, and he was always extremely nice and patient with our crowd. RIP Lorenzo Charles.

Let's Not Crown Him, Yet...

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter @SholesHomewood or reach me by E-mail at sshomewood@gmail.com

Sorry for the delay, Hackers! This blog is going to recap the US Open and Rory McIlroy's dominate performance at Congressional.

The first word that comes to mind in regards to Rory's performance is “redemption”. The way Rory played made everyone forget about his wayward tee shot at Augusta (Let's face it, we have all been there... one shot is all it takes to derail the train). He gained redemption for shooting an 80 on his home turf at last year's British Open, when in looked like he was on his way to lifting the Claret Jug. (Notice how I put "British" in front of "Open". ESPN, you are an American based company, the US Open should get the stigma of being "The Open"). Rory, just when we thought you couldn't possibly blow up anymore times in a major, "you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!" (Name that movie!) It was completely awesome to see such a classy guy turn our beloved trophy into a Guinness Keg for another year. (He did say that he will be drinking a lot of Guinness with the boys in Ireland last week.)

The second word that I am going to use descibes Rory himself throughout the whole ordeal since Augusta is “classy”. After his blow up on the 11th hole at "The House That Jones Built", this guy went straight to the presser and answered every question that the media had, EVERY QUESTION! We aren't talking one word answers like Eldrick's, "We'll See." He answered them with full, intelligent responses. Nobody would have ever said anything about this guy if he came to the press conference pissed off at himself and made some negative comments, in fact, it was expected. But Rory, with ice water in his veins, walked in and answered every questions as if he had never been in contention. It was like he knew that he would have another oppritunity with a 54 hole lead at US Open. With the arsenal thatt he showed in our Nation's Capital last week, he had every right to keep his head held high! But... let's not crown him... yet.

Golf is dying for the next big thing, but we have to be patient. Rory is not the Heavy Weight Champion of the World... yet! However, after the last two majors, including the "Cage Match" that is The Masters and "Ladder Match" at the US Open, which included some of the great golfers of the world, like Phil "Lucious Lob" Mickelson, Lee "English Bulldog" Westwood, Martin "Berlin Wall" Kaymer, and many others, Rory "Irish Whip" McIroy has become the Number 1 contender. It seems that this year, only one player has really been in (dominate) contention in both majors, that was Rory. All though, Rory has all the tools to compete with Eldrick week in and week out, let's not pretend that he has 5 majors by the age of 22. He has 1 (Although, it was one of the most dominating performances in US Open History). Don't get me wrong, if there is anyone in the world that has the game to compete with Woods, it would be the young Irishman. He has a swing as smooth as a baby's bottom, strength, and the feel around the greens to pull off any shot. The most dangerous part about his performance at Congressional is that he finally knows what it feels like to close. This win will only give him confidence to win more and more majors. It is extremely dangerous because the next major in the cycle is in his backyard. It will be interesting to see if Eldrick catches a chopper (air lift) off his yacht (rehab facility) and makes it overseas to challenge the Number 1 contender.

US Open: America's Underrated Title; Wanted by Many, Needed by One?

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: @sholeshomewood for live commentary about The Open and Hilton Head's "3rd Annual Feed the Gator Golf Trip"

I have always loved "Our National Title", which is the way my good friend John McNamara so elegantly put it. (Check his weekly USA Today Fantasy Golf article out here.) However, I feel that it gets strongly regarded as the second biggest major because it is over shadowed by The Masters.

Yes, ESPN and CBS have done a wonderful job of promoting the tradition of The Masters, but I feel it has left our most important major a little less in the spot light. It is important, as Americans, to relish this treasure of an event that has been around over 50 years longer than the Masters. The tradition is there, from Francis Oimet beating a group of pros in the early 1900's, to Tom Watson's Chip in on 17th at Pebble, to even Eldrick (I am not calling him Tiger till he returns to form) making a 17 footer at Torrey to send it to a playoff with Rocco Mediate (Greatest Open of All Time). Please do not think I am trying to take anything away from The Masters. I have an undying love for "The House the Jones Built"; if I do not get a chance to touch it's luscious grass and see it's blinding greenness before I die, I have surely done something to spite the man above (If anyone is looking to see a grown man act like a 5 year old, I will take any extras)... Sorry back to the Open. This is our title, and true American golf fans should be upset that the trophy is sitting in Graham McDowell's million dollar bar getting used as a Guinness Keg! I am sorry if I seem a little fired up, but this is going to be an awesome tournament. I can tell you one person who wants this title more then anyone else in the world, the real life Mr. Roy McAvoy, Phil Mickelson.

(Perfect Transition)

Now for my not so expert predictions:

US Open

3rd Place: Bubba Watson. Bubba has the length to attack this long course. The course is over 7,574 yards long. Are you kidding me?! Here are a couple comparisons for you common folk! That is over 750 times longer than Jim Tressel’s walk of shame out the Horseshoe in Columbus, OH. It would only take Dale Jr. 2 trips around Daytona to wreck just before the finish line. With the way Bubba pokes it out there, if he can putt (and I mean if he can putt) LOOK OUT!

2nd Place: Luke Donald. This completely contradicts the long hitter argument I made, but like I said this is not an expert’s opinion. No one on tour has had a better year so far then Luke Donald. He has the accuracy of a dart player and the silky smooth putting stroke of an Angel! Not to mention for an average sized dude, he has nerves of steel.

AND THE WINNER IS...

PHIL MICKELSON

Yes, Mr. Mickelson has choked more times in the US Open then Lebron in the NBA Finals, but there is something in the air this year! The course is Congressional CC in our nation’s capital (technically it's in Bethesda, MD, but those are just details), Phil is the "People's Champ" (no offense to The Rock). Phil has the length, but will he bring the accuracy, short game, and his brain to go with it? I believe so, this has been something he has night sweats about every night. He has to get this monkey off his back and why not when Eldrick is sitting on his $40 Trillion yacht "rehabbing" his leg with his "Masseuse"!

Please feel free to follow the blog and post a comment about who you think will win the Great American Classic!

Jeemaneez! This is going to be fun. I know what I will be doing, sitting in front of my TV with an American flag colored Bud Heavy, (btw... It just tastes better, with Ole Glory draping an American Classic) watching Phil Mickelson take back what is rightfully ours! (Barring any moments where I yell "Just pull the 3 Knocker!!" at the TV.) My circumstances might be a little better since I will be on Hilton Head Island all week with a Motley Crew! Don't be too jealous; you will all benefit from it when I return with stories of golf, drinking, and bars!

To send you off with a laugh... Check out the Golf Boys Music Video Here!

The First Tee... "I Feel Like I Am Going to Throw Up"

Gosh, this feels a lot like stepping on the first tee. I can hook it left into the water or stripe one right down the middle with this blog. So why do it? I love the challenge of the unkown that comes with golf and creating something new. It reminds of my first time stepping on the first tee in the North Carolina Division 1A State Tournament (More to come from this experience in a later post). I was 16 years old, the night before all of the upper classmen were joking around about how nervous they were when they stepped on the first tee, one of them even mentioned throwing up! "Isn't it like any other tee shot", I thought to myself. Jeez, they were not lying... When I stepped up to the tee box, with my Callaway "Steelhead" Driver pulled as my "weapon" of choice, all I can remember is 325 yard Par 4 at Hyland Hills GC in Southern Pines, NC looked 1,000 yards and I could not stop shaking. "Trust it..." I striped one right down the middle (I am not going to detail the rest of the hole... for obvious reasons... SHANK)!

Hello All! Welcome to my first blog... First for the player introductions...


My name is Sholes Homewood and thank you for checking out my blog. For those of you who don't know me, Yes, that is my actual name. There are also a few other things you might want to know before we get started... I am no expert on the game of golf, shoot, I don't even break 90 (except for one magical day), but I have a strong love for this mind altering test of a game! Whether I am watching it on TV or playing a round with my crazy cohorts, I am absolutely engrossed with this game that constantly defeats me.


For those Tiger lovers out there, I am one of those fans that believe the Tour is just as good without Tiger, as with him. This does not mean that I hate Tiger Woods (he is the best I have ever seen in my lifetime), but I believe the game of golf and all of the great things about it do not revolve around one man! Come on, We have had the best season I can remember, especially if you like playoffs (Who doesn't like head to head?).


Lastly, my favorite thing about the game... I have enjoyed some of the greatest times of my life with friends, family, or just chasing the white ball by myself on the links. What is better than sinking a 15 footer for birdie, sinking a 16 footer for birdie. To quote my favorite movie and the inspiration behind my blog, Roy McAvoy once said, "Tempo is everything; perfection is unobtainable..."


If you are a player who enjoys a few cold whippersnappers with your friends, listening to a average golfer’s opinion on the major stories in golf, travelling to play different courses and a good story or two thrown in the mix... This is going to a blog you will enjoy!